misbehaving coworker doesn’t know I’m about to be his boss, communal microwave is on my desk, and more Ask a Manager

misbehaving coworker doesn’t know I’m about to be his boss, communal microwave is on my desk, and more

Posted: 15 Apr 2018 09:03 PM PDT

It's five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. A misbehaving coworker doesn’t know I’m about to become his boss

I’m in a tricky spot — I was recently granted a promotion that will put me in charge of my current team. Because we have a big project launching a month from now, my boss has concluded that it’s best to keep everyone focused, and not announce the restructuring (and my new role) until after this project wraps. The issue is that I already have tension with and big concerns about one coworker who will report to me (let’s call him Jeff), and the situation is rapidly getting worse.

I don’t think it’s a personal beef with me: Jeff has made some big missteps in the past year and received a lot of criticism for it, so I suspect he’s just feeling defensive and disengaged. But in recent meetings he’s been combative and curt with me, and another coworker recently divulged that he’s taking regular time out of the office to interview at other companies, offloading major components of his job onto an unqualified freelancer, and hiding out in conference rooms where he watches baseball games on his laptop instead of working.

Jeff is clearly looking for an exit, but in the meantime, his behavior is impacting our team and he’s not taking pains to hide it from me because he doesn’t know I’ll soon be his manager. How can I intervene right now, seeing as the promotion won’t be public for another month?

You probably can't. You just don't have standing or authority to do anything about it right now. However, you can talk to your boss about the situation so that he's in the loop, and to ensure that he'll have your back in dealing with the situation right out of the gate when you your promotion takes effect.

For now, you're getting the benefit of getting a really clear look at a problem you'll have to deal with soon though, and it sounds like you're seeing more of it than you'd see if Jeff knew you were soon to be his boss. You're not obligated to tip him off in order to protect him from himself (especially since that would mean divulging information you're not authorized to divulge yet). And it might actually be useful that when you do become his boss, he'll realize that you know the situation; that could make it easier to have a candid "you've got to cut this out" conversation with him.

(And meanwhile, you can hope that one of those interviews turns into a job offer, which sounds like it would be the best thing for everyone.)

2. My coworker has none of the skills she said she had

My manager recently hired a woman, I’ll call her Sue, as a programmer in our IT department. Problem is Sue knows nothing about programming, let alone the specific languages she said she knew. So, all day long she asks for help on everything. My other coworker helped a lot at first, even though we knew she was totally lost — we thought maybe she could pick it up. But Sue retains nothing, asks the same questions over and over, and can do nothing on her own. When we get very busy, this will be a problem, as we can’t do her work and ours. Unfortunately, my manager — as she hired Sue — seems to be reluctant to face the fact Sue is incompetent, though we have told her, gently, that is the case. Recently, I told Sue that it was her project and I was not going to write it for her, so now she badgers my colleague. I used to love this job, but having Sue around just gets me aggravated. Any suggestions?

This is your manager's problem, so let it be your manager's problem. It has to be that way because she's the only one who has the authority and tools to actually deal with the situation.

So when Sue asks you for help, tell her that you're sorry but you're busy and can't help, and suggest that she talk to your manager if she's stuck. Make "this is not my problem" your own internal mantra in your head, because it's not — and if you're tempted to step in and try to help the situation, you'll make it easier for your manager to avoid dealing with it. (You might point that out to your coworker as well and suggest she use the same approach.)

3. Is it wrong for me to settle for a while?

I hear a lot about how people want to push the envelope when it comes to work, always moving upwards, looking for bigger, better paychecks and offices. And while those things are definitely nice, I wondered if sometimes it’s okay to just, settle for a while?

I’ve spent the last 10 years working through high-stress jobs, first in a management position I was not prepared to handle, then an incredibly toxic environment, then a year of temp jobs after the toxic one fired me. My job now is very low-key, low-stress, makes use of my talents, and I very much like the people I work with.

Everyone around me, though, keeps asking when I’ll move on, look for something better. And while I’d love to get something better paying, this covers my bills plus a little, and I feel like it’s doing my mental state a world of good and I know there is room for some elevation within it. I’m not saying I don’t have ambitions, but right now I’d just like a little quiet. Is that wrong?

No! You get to do this however you want. You have a job you like that, you're earning enough money (it sounds like), and there's no reason you need to do this differently just because other people have a different idea of what you should want.

The one thing I'd say is to be thoughtful about how this might impact things you want to do in the future (for example, if you dropped out of a field you think you'll want to go back to eventually, it would be smart to figure out what, if anything, you need to do to ensure that path is still there when you want it). But you sound happy with your situation, and that's enough.

When people ask you when you'll look for something better, you could simply say, "I'm actually really happy with this right now."

4. There's a communal microwave at my desk

I have recently taken a new position. The desk that I am assigned has been empty and the other folks in the area have placed a communal microwave at the desk. Having the shared microwave on my desk will drive me nuts with the food spills and smells as well as having people hovering at my desk. Do I have the right to ask that it be moved and how do I go about it?

Good lord, yes. It's actually on your desk? It's more than reasonable to say, "Now that I'm using this desk, it’s not really working to keep the microwave here. Is there another spot it can go in?" If you get any push-back, explain that the smell and people using it are too distracting while you work. (And if anyone argues with that, you can say, "It really does distract me, but if you don't think it's a big deal, can we move it to your desk?")

5. I'm annoyed at how my boss handled my dress code violation

I've been at my company for almost three years now, two at my current office location. We have company-wide policies, but my VP is a little lax in enforcing things. It's a bank and there's a dress that goes with that.

Something I enjoy doing after work is running. Another coworker runs as well, and 5-10 minutes before the work day is over, if there aren’t any customers, he’ll duck out to the bathroom and change into his running gear. I’ve also started doing this as well. I don’t do this every day, but two or three times a week I’ll grab my gym bag and change. I’ve been doing this for the past three months.

Today I did the same: about five or 10 minutes before the end of the work day I changed into my running clothes and went back to my office with a few minutes before the “official” close of business. My boss rounds the corner and tells me that I need to be sure to wait until the actual close of business before changing into my clothes, and that I don’t want to be perceived by my coworkers as “that person” who cuts out a few minutes early when everyone else is still working. He said he mentioned this to me because he saw me going to change.

A couple of things struck me as inconsistent: 1) My boss has seen me do this before and has made no indication that this was a big deal, as others do it from time-to-time as well. 2) I know where my boss was when I was walking out of my office and I know there’s no way he would have been able to have seen me go to change.

There are two coworkers who I don’t get along with in my office. They’ve been there for 10+ years and sticking around solely for their paycheck and my theory is that one of them said something to my boss because they are the only ones who saw me once I had changed. None of my coworkers are fans of conflict and prefer passive aggression to acting like adults and bringing something up to the person that they actually have an issue with. At the end of the day, I don’t particularly care about working through until the end of the work day and waiting to change. That’s fine, and it’s completely reasonable. What I’m having trouble getting over is the idea that my boss lied to me when his story doesn’t add up. It’s petty, it doesn’t matter, it’s office life, but I can’t seem to shake it on principle.

You should let it go. It's true that in a business with a dress code and customers, you shouldn't be changing into running clothes before the end of the day, whether that's enforced consistently or not. It's possible that the reason your boss said something to you this time when he hasn't before is because he figured he'd let it go once or twice, but now it's a pattern so he needs to correct it. And even if your coworkers did alert him this time, he didn't lie to you — he didn't say "I noticed this entirely on my own." He just addressed it, and figured that how it came to his attention wasn't particularly relevant (because it's not!).

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